Author: Micah Lim

Kindness is endearing. Open the door for the injured, walk grandma across the street, or stoop to pick up a stranger’s paperwork and it brings smiles to people’s faces. Movies use these caring actions to pluck the emotional strings that recognize self-sacrifice and humility. When we witness stewardship, there is a limelight of admiration for those who rise above apathy. However, too often a shadow is cast on someone else: the person in need.

Rebekah Taussig is the author of Sitting Pretty: The View From My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body. Since receiving cancer treatment as a child, Taussig has been paralyzed and uses a wheelchair to go about her day.

For 30 years, Taussig has garnered mindfulness in how to treat others. Her book emphasizes cultural ignorance of disabilities and the mindsets we need to improve.

“As a culture, Americans are convinced that disability is something they’ve figured out. How could ableism exist when we’ve memorized the rules? Don’t say the R word; don’t make fun; disability doesn’t define anyone; try to be helpful; and the rule that guides them all: be kind”, says Taussig from her novel.

Unfortunately, this creed of thinking factors empathy out of the equation. Kindness may often be well received, but for someone who is disabled, we cannot let ignorance take away from their sense of ability.

“Well, here’s the problem: we have ignored the perspectives, stories, and voices of disabled people for so long that their actual needs, feelings, and experiences are hardly acknowledged” says Taussig.

Wheelchair, crutches, or simply looking different can paint false narratives for ourselves and others. Because help is an expression and not a quality, we must open our ears instead of our eyes to practice kindness.

Taussig acknowledges that misguided intentions to do good don’t make someone a bad person. Rather, she suggests changes be made to our thinking to change societal perspectives.  

“Within our cultural understanding of what it means to be a human with a body, we position disability below ability and at odds with health, beauty, wholeness, success and happiness… This is the power of the one-dimensional, deeply embedded ableist script in our culture. Some bodies are Victims, others are Heroes.” says Taussig.

As people with hearts and character, we need to change the script. Don’t treat what is on the outside as a cry for help. With naïve intent, kindness becomes pity and actions hurt esteem. This doesn’t discount the importance of humility, rather it emphasizes the importance of consideration.

“Like anyone else, disabled people are both capable and in need of some help. Just as with every other human, their competence and needs are unique. You have to pay attention to understand them” says Taussig.

Taussig’s advice is this: help when it’s asked and offer to see if it’s wanted. If someone says no, think nothing more of it and allow them to take care of themselves. Capability is a gift without giving.

At Plus One, we offer genuine care for neurological disorders. As the leading cause of disability and the second leading cause of death worldwide, we recognize the 1 billion people affected. However, along with this urgent calling is our sensibility to treat every person with sincerity and empathy. Through grants and donations, we fund opportunities for people to find strength in their lives through projects such as music therapy and swimming pool passes. Power doesn’t come from Plus One; it comes from the people we share meaning with.